To Be Yourself or Not To Be...

Lately I've been catching a lot of heat for the way I am. I speak my mind and don't really care who thinks what of it unless I'm actually offending you (which I rarely do). I'm very animated when I talk, meaning I'll get passionate about an issue that is being discussed rather quickly and because of it may come across as angry. This is false of course. I don't get upset over stupid trivial matters.

However I will get upset if you try to tell me something about myself, especially if I know it isn't true.

We go through our whole lives with people feeding us this spiel about "being ourselves", but that's all bullshit. Society doesn't want you to be original, they want you to be just like everyone else to stay within their lines of social acceptance so you can grow up to have a mortgage that will take 80 years to pay and by the you'll be dead and have lost everything you've worked for.

Hell I say, Fuck it! I'm gonna just be me, and realistically if you don't like it, there are 8 billion people in the world to be friends with, cause I sure as hell don't need someone who will criticize my eating, sleeping, working, or fucking habits. My years of being told what to do and how to act ended the day I moved out of my mother's house thank you very much!

Smooches XOXO

The Prettiest People.....Do the Ugliest Things.

Ever notice how "beautiful" people act like they're shit doesn't stink, or like they don't bleed once a month like the rest of us. One day that beauty will fade, and all you'll be left with is the regret of how you made people feel.

I must say, I find it both fascinating and sad that certain people who deem themselves "blessed" with good looks, physique, etc have the most despicable persona's I have ever seen. I've been in the presence of people from all walks of life, from the homeless, the poor, the rich, the beautiful, the nerds, the bullies, the drug dealers etc. The one thing i noticed is what drives us all is LOVE.
I know what your thinking, geez give it a rest with the love bit already. Just think about it for a minute. The love of money is what drives the rich, the drug dealers, politics. The love of beauty and vanity drives the beautiful. The love of power drives bullies, the love of knowledge drives nerds, and while we may not see it, the love of life is what keeps those in conditions deemed unimaginable such as the poverty stricken....alive!.

See love easily confuses us because it's always fluctuating between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. Leaving us with a false sense of what love really is. We don't love ourselves enough because we don't look like "her", or we don't have what "he" has, leaving us with a greed so intense we would do anything.....anything...to full fill it. We would degrade ourselves, sell our beliefs and values, stepping on any and everyone to get to the top, ignoring that age old saying "what goes around comes around". Until we get so high up with the gas in our heads that we forget how to treat each other. waging personal wars against the very one's we should be working with....all for a little bit of Power.

Now don't get me wrong, I pray for the success of all those around me, and that my people that work hard will one day get to that point where they are happy with the life they've made for themselves. However if you're going to go through life treating people as though they owe you something because you're thinner than they are, or further in your career than they, its time to take a look into the mirror and get to know the beast that will be staring back. Simply put, we are our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we sometimes have to rescue ourselves from our self.

To kill....or not to kill.

So I've been gone for a minute but I'm back with a thought that has been floating across my mind. Men have always measured masculinity by the size of their fists instead of the size of their hearts and this has obviously left us in a shitty position both politically and emotionally. Riot after riot in Europe, wasting money on war metals and none on the war against poverty, and the people like you and me are forced to turn our heads away because....there really isn't shit we can do about it. I mean I'm just one person, and you are just one person, so how do we defeat the government without becoming the enemy?

Martin Luther King Jr once said "Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have chosen to guide missiles and misguide men".

We've been campaigned against, and bamboozled into believing that force is the only way. That the only way to avoid poverty for our own country is to take everything that the other countries need so we're never without. Where has that left us, with bailouts taking everything our generation has worked for; homes, mortgages, pensions leaving us with nothing but the will that says go on. Forced to find away to feed ourselves, we turn to unemployment insurance and welfare only to find the very social program we've paid into our entire working life, has been designed to keep us so far down we may never find the strength to get up. How does one go from Managing a food distribution company to begging for food in the same decade? What choice do we have left, but to turn to the street to make money the easiest way we know how, drugs and prostitution. Fuck self respect, I'm trying to live and find my way out of hell, cause I'm surely living it.

Do you really want to know what I'd say to Satan if I ever met this ruler of the underworld? I'd say, Congratulations, you won! God has tried for years to get man to work together for the greater good and has failed over and over, yet you have managed to unite them under the false pretense that war can bring peace.

Kudos

6 week Detox--->Think I can do it?

Now I know I've been away for awhile....OK since summer but I'm back.
Ive decided to put myself through a 6 week detox from Mary Jane.

Those of you who are familiar with me understand my addiction, and I say addiction now and not then because then I was not but now I am get it?

Just Jivin'! Truth is unlike those naive people in the world who believe they have control over every single detail in their lives..understand the truth. Sometime you do things and enjoy them so much that you continue to do them, thereby forming an addiction. I do not like anything or anything other than the lord almighty to have control of me, so I'm kicking this habit.

To all my smoker friends: I in now way judge you or posess any negativity towards smoking weed, on the contrary, I believe it has allowed me to move on from other areas of my life (such as relationships,) where I was too blind to see, not that weed made me see, but it sure as hell made me care less about him and his drama. I just feel that I'm in a stage in my life where I have a lot of big decisions to make and weed cannot be an influencing factor.

*This will not be easy, in fact it may be painful to watch or listen to if you have the pleasure of speaking with me on the phone.

* I have no idea how I'm going to get through this.

*This is not a joke, I'm seriously addicted.

As of right now it is 9am, and I have officially started my 6 weeks stint. I normally smoke a J in the morning, as a sign to all the subway takers that I do not feel the need to acknowledge them, however this morning sadly I noticed all 900 of them in their Canada goose and UGGs.

I'm not feeling mad or depressed yet, honestly I don't think reality has set in just about yet.
I guess the biggest challenge will be going home and hiding the rest of it until the six weeks is over.

Catch y'all on the flip side....YA DIG!