Why "Chance" it?

It seems in life we're all told about the right and wrong things to do. About the lessons we will learn, and should learn for the sake of our emotional growth, and healing purposes. We are taught the importance of forgiveness in ourselves and others that way we aren't outweighed with emotional baggage. We are told over and over that we should have faith in one another, love one another and to be kind to everyone. Though we don't always follow these instructions, they are the fundamentals of a healthy, emotionally stable life. But what about CHANCES? When has anyone ever specified when you should give someone a chance to prove themselves to you, and furthermore why should they have to prove themselves to you? Let's not get it confused, forgiveness and chances are not the same, you forgive someone without giving them another chance at loving you, your friendship, a job, or being in your life period. But the truth is we set the standards and restrictions on our lives to keep from getting hurt but could we be setting ourselves for failure regardless. We say things like:

· I won't date younger guys, they're too immature.

· I won't date anyone with kids

· I don't do long distance relationships

· I won't give a guy a second chance if he cheats, regardless if kids are involved

the list goes on. I'm not ashamed to say it, I do it too. I know it's wrong, but it's one of those things where the right and wrong thing are the same because all we're trying to do is protect ourselves. (which can't REALLY be classified as WRONG)

I don't really have the answer, because I feel as though every time I've given a guy or anyone a chance I've been hurt. So my friends. I leave you with these words, that say it better than I ever could:

"Why not go out on a limb, isn't that where the fruit us?" -Frank Scully

"You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take." -Wayne Gretzky

"I believe in getting in hot water, it keeps you clean. " -G.K Chesteron

"Every man has the right to risk his own life in order to preserve it. Has it ever been said that a man who throws himself out the window to escape from a fire is guilty of suicide?" - Jean-Jaques Rousseau

"One cannot refuse to eat just because there is a chance of being choked" - Chinese Proverb

Wise Man, Wise Words (Dedicated to Michael Leslie)

Konichiwa blogger's and readers! So In my quest to learn more about myself and what I want out of life. I realized that I want more spiritual and meaningful connections and relationships, and less material possessions. I want to travel the world to meet new and exciting people, who's views and values differ from my own so that I could possible learn new things, but remain constant in my own beliefs. My only new years resolution to myself is to grow as an individual. Whether that means cutting old habits, or eliminating negative energy, or even being a better friend or individual towards the people I come into contact with on a daily basis. I think that if we should always find a way to remain humble within ourselves and thankful for all that we have (even if it doesn't seem like much), because there will always be someone out there with less......much less.

One of the most amazingly humble and influential people I have ever had the pleasure to meet is my former supervisor at one of my previous jobs for a jewelery company. Besides the fact that he taught me everything I know about diamonds and precious gemstones (I dare a guy to try to propose to me with a shotty diamond lol), he was a friend in every sense of the word. He was older, but wiser in every sense of the word. I remember the times I would get so easily angered whenever I had miscommunication with one of my managers, he would always say, "There is no point in acting irrational as you will rarely get the result you want, nor the result you deserve." He was with the company right from the beginning, and was the reason they branched off into loose diamonds and made (I kid you not) MILLIONS of dollars. He, as well as everyone within the company knew that he should have been promoted, but was overlooked because the company didn't want to pay him any more money, and why would they when he never asked. I believed he was far to humble.

Needless to say they ended up "Letting him go" without much of a reason, and said it was due to "cutbacks" the company was making. How could a company who's revenue was based on the quality and value of the stones they sold, not see the value in such a hardworking, and dedicated employee? I remember the day they "let him go" like it was yesterday, they actually had someone escort him out of the building like he was some stranger, a threat to the company! The faces of everyone around us was nothing short of pure shock and disgust. I had never before witness corporate greed until that moment, and needless to say I was out of there within a month.

This is not to be misconstrued as a sad story. He very quickly landed a very well paying position with another company and is quite happy and content. But from that day I felt empty. He was like a father to me. The father I never had. The father who taught me self worth, self esteem, poise, and self-control over my emotions. He knew I was a ball of fire, opinionated and eccentric. He told me I was like his little sister, and couldn't wait to see the man I ended up with because he would need to be extremely patient (which I certainly agreed with). He told me I could do anything I wanted to do in life, as long as I was willing to work hard for it. He proof read my essays for school, and gave me constructive criticism when necessary. He told me when I was being careless and irrational, and coached me on the games and intentions of men. Sometimes the things he would say would anger me, but I wouldn't be angry for long, because we don't always agree with the things our loved ones say. I believe that he changed me for the better and that I would be a completely different person had I had a father figure around for my lifetime instead of for a year and a half.
I won't lie, sometimes I forget the things he tried to instill in me and lose my temper. When that happens, I just remember the poem he once sent to me that remained a part of me to this day and which I share with anyone who will listen.


"If" By Rudyard Kipling

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,'
Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Southern Hospitality

HAPPY NEW YEAR blog world! First off let me say that I hope everyone had the most amazing New Years eve celebration, whether you were with the one you loved most, or kicking it with your pillow, to my friends that counted down with Almighty Christ himself! We are all aiming towards bigger and better things for 2012 and no one can stop you but yourself.

On that note, Ill let you know straight away that this is not a post about the many resolutions I've set for myself but will surely break before the next holiday sets in. Its about a slap of reality that hit me while I was on vacay in Atlanta, Georgia this past weekend. Are y'all ready for this rude awakening?

CHIVALRY IS NOT DEAD!!! Yes you heard me ladies, its very much alive an kicking, and truth be told I was sad to leave it behind. I can honestly say that I've been in my share of relationships that were "OK" and I always thought that if they were at least "nice" (meaning didn't cuss me out for no reason or weren't openly rude) then I may have found "a good man". Well I'm sorry to say brotha's but my standards have increased, so if you thought it was hard to get with me then, good luck now!

What drives this increase in standards you ask? Well first of all, we all have this misconstrued vision of the states filled with the homeless everywhere, driveby's and rude workers. Nope, not in Atlanta (where I stayed anyway). Everyone was extremely nice, and not in a "oh she's a tourist" kind of way, more like, "oh look at these young folk doing their thing" kind of way.
I had the opportunity to spend time with a great guy who made me feel like GOLD. yes, GOLD! Precious as metals that men around the world kill for. From opening each and every door that was in my way, telling me I was beautiful every day and treating me with genuine respect. He catered to my emotional need for intimacy, but not in the way you're thinking. I never thought I could feel close to someone through conversation and good company. Usually theres some crazy passion that drives my emotions but this was different. I was comfortable, and that was because he went out of his way to make me feel comfortable, asking me what I wanted.

Needless to say I indulged in every second of his presence while I could, because who knew when the next time would be that I would meet someone who made me feel special with kind words and simple gestures. Now I'm not saying guys everywhere else are wack and don't know how to treat women, I'm just speaking on my experiences. This experience was an awakening for me, on not just men, but my self worth. I deserve to feel special if I choose to give someone my time and shouldn't feel any way at all negative about it.

So thank you R.D, if you get a chance to read this. I know we had our moments, but I wouldn't trade the memories for all the spinach pizza in the world!

Religion vs Spirituality (my opinion)

Why is it that we always feel the need to challenge one another? Whether it is in the food we eat, or the way we dress, or the way we speak? We were all created individually yet this has never been celebrated, only criticized. Take for example the way we choose to live our lives. Some choose to worship a God through religion, while others choose the more spiritual approach.
I find that for two sets of lifestyles which generally have the same ending, we are always battling against the other to say that our way of life is "the right way" or more fulfilling. I say both are man simply trying to impose his opinions on others (as always).

Religion is a framework to a way of living life. It is a set of rules that guides its follower and owns its followers. Christianity, Hinduism, Islam, Sikhism, Judaism, Buddhism and Jainism are some of the well-known religions of the world. They take the form of traditions and customs, which decide the way we live our lives. In totality, religion is what sets our lives in a direction, and in a large way grooms us. Spirituality is not bound by any rules. It does not follow any religion and neither does it adhere to any set of principles. Spirituality is the art and science of self-realization. It's a practice of knowing each part of your body. Being spiritual means awakening the very spirit of being who you are.

Both spirituality and religion aim to take an individual towards the ultimate goal of life.

I consider myself a new Christian to the religious world. I have always been raised with the foundation of God but have realized as I've gotten older that the bible had answers to a lot of the personal questions I had, and if it didn't it gave me something to believe in, therefore I choose to worship God. We all want something or someone to believe in. It means a lot to say that we are not alone in the world and that some presence out in the universe created us uniquely and individually out of sheer love, just like our parents. If we take a look around at everything that was created and how far we've come as mankind from the days where we wore nothing but cloth and lived in caves, its bazaar to think that all we have now is the result of evolution. But again, this is just my opinion.

So I leave you with this:

"What difference does it make if the Gospel is mostly a lie? It's an engrossing story and the words of its hero are excellent words to live by, even today." -Tom Robbins

To Be Yourself or Not To Be...

Lately I've been catching a lot of heat for the way I am. I speak my mind and don't really care who thinks what of it unless I'm actually offending you (which I rarely do). I'm very animated when I talk, meaning I'll get passionate about an issue that is being discussed rather quickly and because of it may come across as angry. This is false of course. I don't get upset over stupid trivial matters.

However I will get upset if you try to tell me something about myself, especially if I know it isn't true.

We go through our whole lives with people feeding us this spiel about "being ourselves", but that's all bullshit. Society doesn't want you to be original, they want you to be just like everyone else to stay within their lines of social acceptance so you can grow up to have a mortgage that will take 80 years to pay and by the you'll be dead and have lost everything you've worked for.

Hell I say, Fuck it! I'm gonna just be me, and realistically if you don't like it, there are 8 billion people in the world to be friends with, cause I sure as hell don't need someone who will criticize my eating, sleeping, working, or fucking habits. My years of being told what to do and how to act ended the day I moved out of my mother's house thank you very much!

Smooches XOXO

The Prettiest People.....Do the Ugliest Things.

Ever notice how "beautiful" people act like they're shit doesn't stink, or like they don't bleed once a month like the rest of us. One day that beauty will fade, and all you'll be left with is the regret of how you made people feel.

I must say, I find it both fascinating and sad that certain people who deem themselves "blessed" with good looks, physique, etc have the most despicable persona's I have ever seen. I've been in the presence of people from all walks of life, from the homeless, the poor, the rich, the beautiful, the nerds, the bullies, the drug dealers etc. The one thing i noticed is what drives us all is LOVE.
I know what your thinking, geez give it a rest with the love bit already. Just think about it for a minute. The love of money is what drives the rich, the drug dealers, politics. The love of beauty and vanity drives the beautiful. The love of power drives bullies, the love of knowledge drives nerds, and while we may not see it, the love of life is what keeps those in conditions deemed unimaginable such as the poverty stricken....alive!.

See love easily confuses us because it's always fluctuating between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. Leaving us with a false sense of what love really is. We don't love ourselves enough because we don't look like "her", or we don't have what "he" has, leaving us with a greed so intense we would do anything.....anything...to full fill it. We would degrade ourselves, sell our beliefs and values, stepping on any and everyone to get to the top, ignoring that age old saying "what goes around comes around". Until we get so high up with the gas in our heads that we forget how to treat each other. waging personal wars against the very one's we should be working with....all for a little bit of Power.

Now don't get me wrong, I pray for the success of all those around me, and that my people that work hard will one day get to that point where they are happy with the life they've made for themselves. However if you're going to go through life treating people as though they owe you something because you're thinner than they are, or further in your career than they, its time to take a look into the mirror and get to know the beast that will be staring back. Simply put, we are our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we sometimes have to rescue ourselves from our self.

To kill....or not to kill.

So I've been gone for a minute but I'm back with a thought that has been floating across my mind. Men have always measured masculinity by the size of their fists instead of the size of their hearts and this has obviously left us in a shitty position both politically and emotionally. Riot after riot in Europe, wasting money on war metals and none on the war against poverty, and the people like you and me are forced to turn our heads away because....there really isn't shit we can do about it. I mean I'm just one person, and you are just one person, so how do we defeat the government without becoming the enemy?

Martin Luther King Jr once said "Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have chosen to guide missiles and misguide men".

We've been campaigned against, and bamboozled into believing that force is the only way. That the only way to avoid poverty for our own country is to take everything that the other countries need so we're never without. Where has that left us, with bailouts taking everything our generation has worked for; homes, mortgages, pensions leaving us with nothing but the will that says go on. Forced to find away to feed ourselves, we turn to unemployment insurance and welfare only to find the very social program we've paid into our entire working life, has been designed to keep us so far down we may never find the strength to get up. How does one go from Managing a food distribution company to begging for food in the same decade? What choice do we have left, but to turn to the street to make money the easiest way we know how, drugs and prostitution. Fuck self respect, I'm trying to live and find my way out of hell, cause I'm surely living it.

Do you really want to know what I'd say to Satan if I ever met this ruler of the underworld? I'd say, Congratulations, you won! God has tried for years to get man to work together for the greater good and has failed over and over, yet you have managed to unite them under the false pretense that war can bring peace.

Kudos