The "L" word

As a child, the faintest memory I have is of my father telling me he loved me. He was never around due to "unforeseen circumstances" but he always managed to find a way to let me know. My mother on the other hand was the opposite, her love was proven in her actions, providing for us , and I guess being the mother and father, so in her mind she didn't have to say it, because we should have already known how she felt. This being said, I have always associated the word love with happiness and unconditional joy. This beautiful meaning soon went out the window.

When I began high school and had my first boyfriend, (which lasted nothing short of a week), he was telling me he loved me before he sealed the deal, then pretty much every other boyfriend throughout high school said the same thing. In my mind, how can you love someone you don't even know. I mean, yes it is possible to love "things" about people, but does this really give you the right to use the "L" word. Funny person I am, I never said it back, I couldn't care less if they screwed up their faces or hung up on me, No way was I going to just throw the word around.

The first time I said I love you, something told me I made a huge mistake. Not that I didn't love the guy, he ended up being my first and all that jazz, but It felt like I was saying it because I had to, we were together over a year, and did the deed, so why not seal the deal with the word right? wrong!
When it came time to prove it (difficult times), I pretty much just up and walked. I was like nope, I don't have to deal with this, let's just be friends.

This was my first lesson!, You can NEVER be "just friends" with someone you really love in that way. I learned that in my last relationship. I actually believe that I did love this guy. We lived together, both made mistakes, and time and time both forgave each other, by the time we decided to do right by each other, we were exhausted, and just didn't want to anymore. We said be friends, but you feel a certain, obligation after having slept with someone....am I right? I mean it's so easy to have sex one more time....for the last time. You both start to see other people, and our jealous, but for what, you don't want each other anymore.! and this alone starts up another huge fuss, and in the end I personally feel it isn't worth it.

The "L" word complicates things, and I'll be damned If I add more complications to my life. When I Love, I love hard and strong. Faithfully and unconditionally, and I expect no less. How can you say you love someone, but can't express emotion and affection. I'm talking PDA, hugs and kisses, and not acting hard in front of your boys, or your family. Love is patient, when she's having a rough day, and kind when it's that time of the patient. Unselfish, what's yours is hers, but not blind, to see when your getting played.

Love and Let Love my brotha's, I have faith in you all!

"You can't tell a woman you love her are you stupid? Words don't express your love you gotta prove it"-Papoose