Runaway Love

Have you ever felt like going ...no running (as fast as you can), to a place no one can find you? Free from all the judgmental people in the world constantly evaluating your progress vs their own. Somewhere where you can be the real person you want to be. Let's be honest, even the realest of us all, sometimes have to fake it. You can't just walk through life screaming "Fuck you" to every person who has ever made you feel bad about yourself or gives off a negative vibe. I feel that everyone should adopt the personality of Gemini's. Yea yea, everyone says we're two faced, but have you ever met a Gemini that has tried to deny the fact that they do have two personalities.

I love my personalities! I haven't named both of them, but if I had to one would be Chanelle (My actual name,) and the other would be Leah (My middle name). Chanelle is the one that is wreck less and rebellious, super social butterfly, changes her mind more often than not, and is constantly searching for excitement. Leah is the stable, responsible side, ambitious, and eager for love and a family. How on earth I balance the two I'll never know.

For example Chanelle has (at least 3 times), ran away from home, and even fled the country, eager to leave and experience something new, meet new people, (why she believed you could just pick up and move to a new country with no planning I'll never know). It wasn't disastrous per say, I loved the journey, but I'm right back where I started so I guess that mission failed. Every so often Leah will come with her level handedness when a guy of interest pops up, then here comes Chanelle looking for ways to interfere. There is no reasoning with Chanelle whatsoever, when she's pissed, she is PISSED, and can hold a grudge for days,. Leah will often in situations like this, try to apologize if necessary, but Chanelle is so convincing!

Leah is so compassionate and caring, loves all kids, and is so desperate to find a way to change the world, even if it's only by helping one child, or one person. I'll never forget the time she had a conversation with a homeless man at 3am waiting for the night bus after an evening with friends. (Let us disregard the fact that she was completely wasted, and no, she was not interested in sleeping with the homeless man) he simply seemed like he needed someone to talk to. Another time she listened to another stranger who found her attractive, while she clearly stated she had no interest in this man, he asked her if he could just get something off of his chest. This man talked about how he believed the devil was out to get him, and how he was on his way to his stripper girlfriends house, and the reason he was taking the metro was because he had crashed his car the week before and almost killed his stripper girlfriend ramming into a wall near the lachine canal. He admitted he was drunk and driving with his sunglasses on, but the devil kept telling him to go faster. By the time he was done with his story, the man was crying. (If this were Chanelle listening she would have told him get to steppin!), But Leah told him, this was a test from god, and now that he must use his feet as his sole means of transportation, he may as well follow in God's footsteps when he is need of direction. There is no GPS to heaven.

Needless to say the man gave her his number and Leah promised to call, but Chanelle never did. I find i interesting to see the battle between these two, and I strongly believe Leah will be the one to come out on top. I love Chanelle for her spontaneity and exciting nature, so open-minded, and fearless, with a walk that could make a mime scream!, and Leah for her level headed personality, common sense, and drive that has kept them both alive. While I struggle trying to balance the two, I can't help but wonder if it's possible that neither can truly live while the other survives.